Resolve

I have long wanted control over my behavior
I have long known the name of my obstacles
But only now have I begun to peer inside
These obstacles, formerly called enemies, formerly called self-hatred, formerly called habit, are like tightly wound knots

The knots need untying
This untying is done with my attention, my awareness, my inward gaze

Staring at these knots reveals they are just strands of rope
Following these strands brings me to their ends
And from these ends I can get to work

Beginning to untangle now
Keeping my eye on the darting and morphing and knotting

I have spent many years creating this mess
Unconsciously tangling and tangling

It is time to disengage the gears
And open the hood