FIXATION ON FREEDOM

One time, and it's now

I have been a loser

BUT NOW I'M READY FOR THE PAIN

This quest for greatness is now a quest for pain, for failure, for embarrassment....

To be ready for the quest is to be ready to die....and I am.

It's this man's time

To take his feather mattress and nutrition labels and Adidas sneakers and grow up

So here comes that feeling, that doubt filled with a rush of YES WE CAN

and that disturbing knowledge that burning your bridges is the only way

MY FAVORITE WAY

The confidence doesn't always pan out

But the desire never dies

Your dream is not a dream....it's everything

Is it worth just living?...just breathing?...just observing?...just being?

Of course it is!

But how much better is it to create, enact, change and overcome?

Meet the people and challenges and hopes and fantastic experiences reserved exclusively for a select few people that don't mind a little danger

Take your crazy mind and run towards failure.

I will be traveling the path of most resistance because there's less traffic.

I will get there before I die

Clouds

Well, the clouds are coming

They've been hovering (or brooding) in the East all week but now they're here

They're right over there, so I guess we'll need to do something about it

Cover the motorcycles with a blue tarp

Go upstairs and make sure all the windows are closed

Make sure all the kids are accounted for

Lightning

It's time for a reckoning

This storm will leave me lifeless or make me a king

Here it comes

It's pouring now and the shutters are slamming against the house in the wind

Sky is dark gray

Swirling leaves and battering wind - the house quivers

Driving rain pummels the windows

And then it's gone

Birds Chirping

Cheep Cheep - Cheep Cheep

Fresh sun peering out and healing

The clouds have drifted to the west

And my family and I

We're still here - safe, unscathed. Relieved.

Not any better or worse off than before.

But appreciating the life that we have, and the house that kept us safe

Bring on the next round of clouds! My fear is gone.

Perfect Mentality

Focus your mind
Control your emotions
Respect all living things
Be confident and compassionate
Conquer your fears
Life is akward and embarrassing, don't be afraid to go out of your comfort zone (tickle me elmo zone)
Love yourself
worship yourself, feed yourself, eat yourself, chew your toes and swim up the Nile

Be free!

hateful children

He looks on
loves for what will be
right now: dirty children, bastard children, runaway children, carnival children, hateful children, scared children
will be: loved children

we look on Him
longing for what will be
he was: dirty, beaten,bloodied, a sheep to the slaughter
now is: victorious

Death, where is thy sting
we are loved children
loved while we still hated
so that we would be made beautiful

"For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— 8but God shows his love for us in that(B) while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:7-8

So Moses made a bronze snake and put it up on a pole. Then when anyone was bitten by a snake and looked at the bronze snake, he lived. Numbers 21:9

confident

i climb a mountain
fog drifts away
sun peaks up
gold

Big problems, cancer problems, we all have problems

Enough with the problems....go to sleep
But here come the sleeping problems

...i can't sleep...problems sleeping

i cant escape the problems, the problems are becoming a problem

When will we get everything we want? When I was a kid i had everything i wanted. Being a kid was perfection. No health problems, no family problems, no friend problems, no girl problems, no mental problems, no financial problems, no career problems, no decisions to make,

nothing to do but live in the moment....

What about the warm sun, a sandy beach in the carribbean with a margarita and some chips and salsa?

....id rather be a kid coming home for a pizza bagel

Brand New Way

There are only six strings on a guitar
So it's all in how you pluck them

And there are only 24 hours in every day
So it's all in how you seize them

Tomorrow's not a brand new day
It's a brand new way

It's an opportunity to fail
Because that's the best thing we could hope for
To fail while risking
That's not failing at all, in fact
The only failure I know is never risking and being one

And special-ness is not a relative term
And recognition is not the goal
It's just about you and the people you care about
And sometimes it's just about you the principles you stand for
So just forget all the judgment and comparison
And be true to yourself only because you know it's right in and of itself to stand

Not standing in a figurative sense, but literally
What do you stand up for ever day,
Why get out of bed?

This is not a race to the top of Money Mountain
Or a battle to be the last man left
It's just a struggle to do your damnedest during this little window you've got
Before you tumble into that grave we're all headed to, bereft
The grave that doesn't diminish our significance but rather amplifies it

Don't settle ever, for anything
Then there will always be a new way to engage the day

MOTIVATION FOREVER

tomorrow is coming...

And they say it's a brand new day.

It's not a brand new day.

It's leftovers.

Smelly leftovers

And you're not really hungry

You have a dream

But the sting of failure and the smelly leftovers has squashed your dream

Fuck your dream.

And eat your smelly food

What's holding you back?

You don't think you can do it.

I doubt it too.

I doubt that your life will be special.

You're the kid who grew up somewhere and whatever.

Obituary 2071: Friend and Father, loving husband. Enjoyed movies and humor. Nothing special.

Does my saying this make you care less?

It should. You shouldn't care. You should know by now: just settle for everything.

Think like an old person: what's for lunch...i have to call Dr. Fred...i'm tired- going to bed early

Pitter patter....I hate the rain...days like these...routines...Tv...coffeee.....tv.....wall

Make a list of everything you don't like. There are probably some things you really don't like.

And then dig your grave

This one needs music

Put some music to these words
Throw some white emo, drums and guitar
It's late at night.
Noise canceling headphones
You're on an airplane over the Phillipines
My life is crazy, life is crazy

Pick up the tempo
Eb and flow
It's a rap
Enough of that

I could die
I could end my life
But it's getting better
My life is improving...Concerned, hesitation, ambition, setback, frustration

Expectations rise, dissapointments hit hard, but that's what I want

I want that pain, that nag that tells me not to settle for Benjamins and granite countertops.

Prime Minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, CEO of Apple, Inc, Malcom Gladwell, Head Coach for the New Orleans Saints.

Recognition is the carrot
The sting of mediocrity is the stick

Dancing to the melody of busboys and fishermen and fastfood cashiers.

At least I'm young

Apathy Addiction Disorder

There's a growing tide of complacency
It's eating your brainstem like cantaloupe and cottage cheese
It's laying waste your good intentions
It's snuffing your aspirations and eventually it'll snuff your respirations.

Because that complacency knows no boundaries
No, in fact it's multiplying still
It's in a positive feedback loop
With all intent to kill you.

But hey, who cares, right? Let's go watch Jeopardy
And luckily Wheel of Fortune precedes it so you can just vegetate all life long
To the white noise dirge of your television
While your pallbearers are lining up.

Because every time you say, "Meh, I'll do it tomorrow"
And, "Whatever. Who cares? Not me!"
Your brainstem attrition gets worse
And in inverse proportion, you're filled up with that glee of complacency.
But don't kid yourself: it's a disorder.

"Yay! I'm lazy! It's funny to be self-reflexive about my inaction!
All day every day I like to talk about ideas and act on none of them
And sometimes I blame others, and other times I blame myself, but I just
Sweep those ones under my rug
Because even blame can wait until tomorrow, and why feel down on myself anyway?
It's just my life."

Slap yourself.
Pour ice down your shirt.
Walk on coals and needles and punch a wall until you just wake up.
Stop embracing your addiction and laughing about it all cutesy
And just fucking dance.