Fallible

Tied up , 11 seconds left
Free-throw missed
Other team rebounds, fouled, wins
Tennessee loses

Grown men cry
Strong black men
The season is over
National attention fades
NBA scouts change the channel

I could have made that
A FREE THROW
I don't want to make mistakes
NO MISTAKES
I want to win, everytime, at everything

I want the self-confidence
I am as fragile as peanut brittle
I think I should join the marines
6 weeks to self-confidence

A gun in my hand
An insignia on my arm
An enemy
And a victory

Let's go home

Incantations

It's really happening
Life
Limitless possibilities
Spent chasing money

Spent chasing money
Money for things
things for self
Self for self

Self for self
Weekends for self
Weekends with brain
Food, TV, Vehicle, Sport, Bed

With my 3D goggles my hindsight is bad
With my surround sound my echo-location is off
With my money my brain is broken

Broken Brain!!
Insane!!
Carb, Protein, Fat, Chemical for Broken Brain

We're back in 3, 2, 1, and.....
"Hey Rob, how was your weekend?"

Who wants ?

The brevity leaves you wanting more
Too short or short enough, either way

That's good
I get it now
heres the mayonaisse
heres the salami

Are you a computer programmer?
I have a job for you
You can work for me
I can pay you

Let's find you a desk
Let's find you a company car
Let's find you a donkey with your name on it
You're fired

Leaves you wanting more
Broad generalities
Doesn't really make sense
But you think you understand

If only you thought about it
Then you'd get it
The next time you see it
Then you'll be comfortable, in fact an expert

comfortable
busy
occupied
doing well

Doing good work
Working
Busy
Moving

Time's Up!
Put down you remote controls
Unplug your VCR's
Find your children and leave

It hardly makes sense
It doesn't have to
It never will
I'm confused again

Dr

I have an appointment
I have been appointed to see someone
At a certain time, at a specific location
I know what will happen

"Sign in here...is this your first time?"
"Drivers License and Insurance Card....thank you"
"Fill out the clipboard...both pages...front and back"
"blah blah ...we'll call you soon"
I sit down......magazine .... stare at artwork ....... judge people ..... think about nothing .......
"Michael!....this way please!"

Small room, nurse soon follows
She pretends she has seen it all before
But she has never seen me
She is a robot

takes blood pressure
asks what medications i'm on
answers my stupid questions
tells me that the doctor will be in in a minute

It is all going according to plan

Where does the nurse go now?
Does she sit down and bang her head against the wall?
What did she do to earn this job?
I know!...slack of at a JC and then take out a loan and enroll in nursing school

Here comes the doctor now
Look at him. 4 years undergrad, 4 years medical school, 3 years residency in internal medicine, 3 years specialization/fellowship in cardiology, passed the boards.....TA-DA!

Should I bow to him? Shake his hand?

"Hi, how are you? How can I help you?"
"Well, lately I've been feeling this ....
"Say no more...here's the drug I give everyone, I'll see you in a month, exit that way"

Wow! What professionalism, what compassion, I feel better already

Mike

Why is Mike the only one posting on this site

Answer me mike!

I would like to say that I am happy.

I am content and satisfied with my life

I do not feel like I'm missing something

I do not feel that there is something I haven't done that I need to accomplish urgently.

I enjoy my existence

I enjoy my life in my Los Angeles apartment with my dog and my wife

I enjoy my Job. I like my cubicle. I like my neighbors in the adjacent cubicles. I like spending time with Stephen and Mike. I believe Jared will re-appear soon and I like that we will most likely go camping.

I like seeing my brothers becoming men and discovering how to run their own lives

I like exercising 5 days a week.

I like reading the Bible and praying

I like watching the Lakers play basketball

Life is good and I enjoy it. I am happy with what I have. God is Good.

National Interlaken

I have been here before.

Not just in this place, but in this pattern of thinking

In this chair, thinking in this way

Life is getting dull

I need drugs

Fun safe drugs....I have them

I could sell all my belongings and move to Laos or Cambodia or Afghanistan

I could learn Serbo-Croat, move to one of those Slavic countries and get into the ol' human trafficking biz

It's good money and you can abuse women

Or, but or, alternatively, scratch that, here's another idea:

Grow up to be like everyone else

The job, the car, the money, the family

All in a mad attempt to not have to think about anything

Head for the monasteries, bring a friend

The Radio

Lady Gaga is gay
Proud gay, fighting for the gays

Gays for gays, doing gay things
gay rights and gay homosexuals

We aren't anti-gay

We're anti- penis in another guy's butt
We're anti- guy sucks another guys dick
We're anti- guy acting like a girly bitch, more effeminate than most women are

But what do I think?
I don't like it much either, maybe it's my generation
We're barely out of the Brokeback Mountain days

I have no quarrels with gay marraige though
Because gay people can do what they want
Because that is how it should be - liberty is important

No on prop 8- am I too late?
Why is the African American community so bigoted towards gays...can't they see the analagies between gays and blacks?
Can't the world see?

We are oversimplifying again, or so I tell myself
There is a solution, and it is already en route

Outdoorsy

It smells like firewood
The intangible childhood memories

Seize the bacon, Justin is cooking
Why has Justin cooking bacon replaced my favorite childhood memories?
Leave my brain Justin, my mom used to make breakfast

My dad used to take off his shirt at every opportunity
My dad used to be confident and bold and secure and happy

And then the dream ended
Then everything my dad hoped for melted into a dizzying mess of his kids' adolescence and his wife's suffering

He wasn't an Al Bundy dad, or a Frasier Krane dad, or a Wonder Years dad, or a Home Improvement dad, or a Family Matters dad, or a Step by Step dad.....he was a Boy Meets World dad....a good dad

A man of few words and few deep troubles

But with his wife went his sister and his dad....with his wife went his dream....with his youth and with his wife went his faith in an honest days' work

And there goes someone's life

Born into one of the greatest countries, raised by good German Jews, driven internally by a desire for health and happiness

And brought down by blind chance...what some call God (this is not anti-god)

Where does the time go?

Surface Conversation

People are talking

What once sounded like forced courtesies

Now sounds like empty souls

Brains looking for rewards

Trying to laugh when nothing is funny

Forcing a smile after a morning of frustration

Cackling

Like witches without magic powers

Like disney hyenas

Happy to be employed

Sociable and kind

In a good mood

But nevertheless, bullshitting each other

There is no learning, there is no mutual understanding, there is nothing on the table

Poker without money

Dancing to no music

A language without adjectives

If our self-esteems were a stock market

We'd be experiencing hyperinflation

Looking Up

The doubts knock against my front door

I must tend to them

The habits sleep on the back porch

I must shoo them

Vigilance is my post

The Lord keeps my heart a-rythym

And I maintain my breathe

In spite of the mild upkeep, my state is deteriorating

It is nighttime, as always

And the moon is arbitrary

What matters is hope

And the reality of the near future

Another

Create a system and then put so much energy behind it that it's unstoppable

The United States of Americans

WOW!!!

Look at that

3 branches....WOW!

Judges, Legislators and Executive

Dude! 3 branches

dude! a black president, let's go out for breakfast and smoke weed

the big picture is grand and the details get forgotten

just remember that we are right and they are wrong

50 senators, right? No, it's 100. Barbara Boxer and Feinstein plus Reid and McCain and whatevs

Obama can veto. Executive order. He plays basketball and has a dog named Bo.

DEMOCRATS WIN!!!

let's go home

who cares/ motivation (part 2)

Song, good song

don't forget yet

fuck that guy, who am I?

...such vulgar thoughts

...distraught

When? when will it make sense?

I want to invent cold fusion

And be a superbillionaire

and sleep with supermodels

and sleep with exotic beauties

and sleep with powerful, dissatisfied women

to our mutual satisfaction

proud, powerful, and content and fuck you all

The lion within, the scaredy cat within, the retard within

I am just another struggling artist

another drowning victim

Another 4th place olympian