dont lie to me

And dont think this is my journal...is it?

Whatever... can you even pay attention

I have your attention

Gone to some distant thought about measuring up.

Measuring up to him, to her expectations....to what you thought you could suck out of this life

Settling...settling....settling....that is your job

Your role on this planet is to settle for whatever they give you. And always complain when they take something away.

After settling, your job is to half-ass it. Saving energy is something you know all-about.

SAve energy says Mrs. Krabopple....and I will save energy with my ass on the couch, remote control in hand, potato chips and beer within reach..

I save energy when I sit in a machine that goes a mile a minute.

I save energy with my ELECTRIC CAN OPENER.

I still have nightmares about this ridiculous device and I wonder what kind of lazy fuck my mom was to keep one of these in the kitchen.

Speaking of journals, people are liars. All of you lie through your teeth until you hate yourselves.

Stop lying and stop the passive aggressive remarks.

Diary of a wimpy kid I suppose.

This one rhymes

I’m taking each moment as it comes

But my moments are riddled with obsession

My thoughts are the sounding of drums

By a child with little discretion

I hesitate to say that I’m ailing

But these thoughts evidence many wounds

A mind cut by its numerous failings

And unsure of a future that looms

I can play for myself a sweet song

And vow yet again I’ll improve

But this old brain, just as clever, has caught on

And taunts me to make the first move

It’s been 6 years and I feel just as lost

And the drumming I cannot abate

A great life, on schedule to take off

Now a shuttle from runway to gate

Beliefs and emotion, they dictate my time

And though friends may be a quick fix

When the lights go down, reemerges my mind

And it deals in well-sharpened sticks

So for now, here I am, putting thoughts to a page

But soon I’ll emerge from my cave

To a world I hate where self-esteem takes the stage

In the tragedy of “Master and Slave”

They say, to succeed, that first one must fail

So I really don’t know what I’m worth

But until the winds of change hit my sail

I will shuffle my feet through this earth