From a day most likely misspent
From morning to evening, every minute compressed
Wanting to be content
Your head finds the pillow and your arms hug the sheets
But your mind is still at a loss
This close-minded culture that you thought you could beat
Has nailed you firm to your cross
The weeks may seem to hint at progress
And the months symbolic of growth
But the unending obstacles and eternal stress
Negate the existence of both
you are tired in life and tired in bed
you are but perpetually dreaming
day after day, till all humans are dead
we are strugglers searching for meaning
this is exactly the thought that has consumed my mind these past few years
ReplyDeleteI honestly believe that humanity is capable of one day surpassing our transient nature, of achieving control over our universe and even our past, but the knowledge and technology necessary for this are still much too far beyond our reach, and even more importantly, too small a percentage of the human population is even aware of the problem, much less engaged in an active effort to solve it.
I was standing on my porch the other night smoking and I began to contemplate my own death, the very idea that one day everything I am will suddenly cease to exist. I thought that this thought is the most terrifying, horrifying thought that it is possible to think, that knowledge of death, the true understanding and comprehension of it. I know that people are all different, that each of us has merit, some measure of inherent worth that we have devoted ourselves to constructing. This devotion has been a primary effort of mine for almost as long as I can remember, and what I am is so far beyond what my physical existence defines, there is such a vast store of valuable thought, that the idea of all of that simply one day ceasing to exist, of everything I have spent my life becoming simply vanishing, that is terrifying.
But at the end, all I can do is shrug my shoulders and willfully choose to ignore this fact, to dismiss it as an observation that is rendered irrelevant by the mere fact that I am essentially impotent to act upon it in any way, impotent to change it.
It reminds me of the end of Final Fantasy X, which, if you have never played the game, is worth playing it just to experience.
this is deep and thoughtful, mike. i don't know why jujamist stopped alerting me to new posts, but i did get a thing about the comment above. i agree that it could be a scary thought that one day all of the things we have spent our lives becoming will cease to exist, but the end is something to embrace. in its inevitability, i just have to say, make the most of it while you got it. it's that end that may make the rest of life meaningful at all in the first place. it's bittersweet.
ReplyDeleteI've actually heard that argument a lot--that death ensures the value of life--but I really don't think I can agree with it. It is possible that transience has endowed humanity with a particular paradigm that, were we immortal, it would be unlikely we would possess, at least not without the encounter with the concept of mortality; but I don't believe that, having existed within such a paradigm, the value of life would be diminished in any way were we to overcome our mortality. It is certainly possible that some individuals might experience such a thing, but I think it is highly unlikely that this would be a common occurrence.
ReplyDeletethings can go terribly wrong in life and death is our eject button. i dont think any of this matters. it is just a crazy experience. very real and compelling but no more real than our dreams.
ReplyDeletei dont think this is an excuse to not care about others or to be selfish or cruel, but it does provide the possibility of enjoying life on a purely experiential level (like some buddhists)... i'm just not there yet
Ever been to sleepaway camp? Had tryst with a foreigner that had a deadline? Death is not what gives life meaning, but it definitely can amplify its emotional intensity. In my view, meaning is only what you make it with any of the other humans in one's life, or the things one creates; meaning is only what means anything to the individual, and what the individual means to others. After that individual dies, and after the memory and impact of that individual dies, their impact has a long tail and shockwaves that will recur, but eventually that person is forgotten and re-rendered meaningless. Meaning is only in relation to one's life. Personally, immortality is not desirable; objective truth, god, etc. are not desirable. It's the transience of my existence that makes me feel that I should live it up and make the most of it while I'm here. Without a deadline, I could always live tomorrow. I am not excited for death, but I view it as a natural part of the way of things, and I hope to accept it when my time comes, though bittersweet.
ReplyDelete