Saying Goodbye Sucks

The world
Smaller than it was before
But big enough to forget
That time we spent

Slow enough to sit back and reflect
Fast enough to absorb your attention
Safe enough to confide
That even good things sometimes subside

Saying goodbye makes people want to grasp
For a sense of control
In things they think will last

But to move on, you have to let go
The world keeps turning, soon you'll know
Flow the time, over years and seasons
At the end you'll realize reasons

Joys shared make it hard to change
But without change there is no intention
And you live life in a stream of inertia
Never knowing what could have been

Saying Goodbye
It sucks because
It implies a value judgement where none exists
Like you weren't good enough to stay for
But take a step back

Slow enough to sit back and reflect
Fast enough to absorb your attention
Safe enough to confide
That eternal things forever will abide

No distance topples stones stacked in faith
No time swallows years and weeks and months
Some of the things we did were great
Now I'm moving on for a different fate

So send me out
Into unknown
Adventure is calling me home
Goodbye for now but never can we know
What future winds of change will blow

grateful

grateful

i am sitting

on a beach

with a joy

faithful

He is sitting 

over me

with a smile

My Second to Last Post (Unless, of course, something changes)

I am tired of being myself
This recklessness is exhausting
These wounds
Are self inflicted

Rule breaking is fun but also tedious
So much time spent conspiring
So much brainpower diverted
To that warm tingling feeling
Behind my neck and between my ears
That sense that I am doing something wrong
That I am bound to be caught

There was a time
When the world seemed enormous
Like how could you ever see it all?
Like a lifetime would be a long time
But weren't those just the daydreams of a child
Who had only seen the world on TV
And wanted nothing more than to explore?

But what is a life valued on exploration?
At what point is your goal achieved?
And if seeing the world is the a self fulfilling joy
At what point will you be able to say "I've seen it"?

Here's the thing:
I think that trying to understand foreigners speaking another language is a chore
And I am beginning to think breaking rules like "don't walk on this beach" is too
The thing that really gets me excited
Is spending quality time
With good friends
Who love me the way I love them
And in whose company I would be content
Whether here or on some other continent

My apartment is the new Paris
Come, all you ex-pats
It's a place built on friendship and love
Pleasures you can never tire of

My last post

No hard feelings, but this is the last time im posting here.   I will certainly remain interested in poetry.

I gave this thing a few years, and in a few years it was pretty much just me...

I am a person who is very critical, either by nature or nurture... and here are my thoughts:

None of you were born in Los Angeles like I was.   None of you went to Beverly Hills High School.  And none of you have spent the last two years in rural America to reflect on life in southern california.

LA has a strange effect on people.   It makes them feel important.  

You might think your ambitions are humble and wholesome, but you wouldn't have stayed right in LA if you did not secretly desire some combination of money and influence that only LA offers.

I love when people pursue their dreams.   But what are those dreams? 

Good luck!

And last and most importantly:  Christianity and the story of Jesus dying for my sins and my father's sins is about as irrelevant and bogus as any other religion I know.

Sorry to be bitter.  thank you for reading my posts here, and I will be back in your city for a few weeks in August and September before i go to spain hopefully (unless something changes)

Mike

Ignore Everything Else

I'm sure your life seems important right now, mine does too. I have lot's of important stuff to do also, believe me.

I am sure your mind is playing its usual game of juggling and sorting tasks.   But let me say that it doesn't matter.

Let's return to what you really care about:  Your story!

When people look at you!   When people think about you!   When you think about yourself!     That's what it's all about.  

How did he make so many good decisions?  How does he do it?   Was it luck, talent, or hard work?

Don't forget that you are the greatest.  If you search deep inside yourself you will find that shining ruby of greatness that only you possess.  

You are a winner.

Now look around at all the other winners.   Who denies that there are many people greater than you?  Great people with a good heart, who love their careers, love their wives, have more charisma, and will forever have a greater impact on people.

Nobody cares about you and nobody will remember you.

my outlook

Food doesn't interest me.

I am not on this planet to indulge myself. I am here to learn and make an impact

i know you like different things, i know you would like to feel different, but honestly...

how different can you be? Don't you eat, sleep and think within the same boundaries as everyone else:

You want a bakery, a business deal, a movie deal.....

I am no better, no more unique, nope... My beliefs, my nature of being is echoes of society...

Sometimes its a prison that requires drugs to escape.
Love is not real, though people do become enamored with each other, and dependent on each other.

I will never depend on anyone. Who will be there in my most frightening moments?

I am tired of being brainwashed.
People take me seriously at the wrong times

My confidence comes and goes.
When i doubt myself it goes
When i feel capable it returns, even if it is a false confidence and everyone knows it


Who cares about me? who really cares about me? Really i hardly care sometimes. i just want to not suffer. and i dont want pity, i would prefer that no one help me.

i dont mind offending people, i dont mind pissing people off. Inside me is a timid little puppy that never gets to show its teeth.

My teeth are sharp... my life is in the making... my life is meaningful... but time will tell

This world is clueless. from the slaves to prime ministers.

Why is self-interest justification for one's behaviour?
Why do people risk their lives for money?
Why do people settle and compromise on the big things?

It is because we are a weak, lazy, fragile, and stupid species?

Why Im done with school

Homework is bullshit.

To have to carry home the burden of needing to do something. To go home and leave school behind, but to still drag it with you and feel it gnawing at your ankle.

The burden of due dates, and evaluations and endless expectations of better work.

The only thing school has taught me is that I'm a B student.

A's still feel like B's and C's feel like B's. F's feel like B's. Everything is a B when you are a B student.

Just give me my B and let me go home.